PRIVATE THOUGHTS, PERSONAL ACTIONS, THEN PUBLIC WORDS

Silence. It’s a funny thing. Growing up, it often equalled respect. For much of my adult life, I’ve understood silence as a signal of deeper thought. But more recently, in light of the murder of George Floyd and other innocent black people, silence is being used as a tell-tale sign of compliance. Personally, I still hold that the middle option is not only perfectly valid, but also arguably encouraged. There is a lot of pressure from people on social media for everyone to speak up, and that by not doing so, they are sending an even bigger message. While I understand this perspective, I am inclined to disagree with it. Social media silence does not equal ignorance. Social media silence does not equal negligence. And social media silence does not equal compliance.

As a 21-year old black female, born in England, raised in Kenya, currently co-residing between the two and spending plenty of my childhood with family who live in the United States, I would like to make it clear that I do not think my opinion counts any more than the next persons. I will be the first person to say that I have remained publicly “silent” until now. I haven’t published my specific thoughts onto any platform. But that certainly doesn’t mean that I’ve been doing nothing, and dare I say that the same applies for many others. Have I been having on-one-one conversations with both people of colour and non-people of colour, discussing our disgust, fear and outrage? Yes I have. Have I been spending time with my own thoughts, trying to discern how I actually feel, as opposed to merely adopting the feelings that ___ influencer thinks I should? Definitely. Do I appreciate that everyone is dealing with the current situation differently and that this leads to a multitude of different responses from all the different individuals that I interact with? Of course I do. But that’s not what I wish to address in this little piece here today. I am not here to tell you how to feel, that’s not my right. I am not here to publicly explain my in-depth emotions and feelings, that’s not your privilege. But what I am here to do is offer my thoughts on some of the current responses to the global race issue which has been resurfaced (for the nth time), and the various thoughts the situation has brought up for me. Above all, I am here to hopefully play my small part in the global race issue that can be seen so clearly across the world. Because, like it says in the title, speaking out is not the only answer, and it doesn’t have to be the first port of call. If you’re still reading, then kudos to you. Here we go.

Firstly, let’s go back to what I mentioned earlier on. Silence. And anti-silence. As previously stated, publicly speaking out in support of black people is by no means a bad thing. It’s been heart warming to see all the non-POCs get troubled by this issue. And to see post after post being shared. But for those people who have been against sharing violent videos, or kind words written by influential leaders, I understand. Some people don’t see the point in re-posting an Instagram post (or twenty). Because this action, although it can do wonders for one’s own sense of morality, may not have the most beneficial effects in tearing down the prejudices which exist due to institutionalised racism. I believe that the first response should always be sorting out our private thoughts. This goes far beyond the mere “Racism is bad”. Because if you need the death of innocent black people to see that racism is unacceptable in any and every circumstance, then may I suggest you visit your local optician with a heightened sense of urgency. I think the first port of call should be far more reflective, examining one’s own life (yes, this is where “checking my privilege” comes in), situations where perhaps you may have (either consciously or unconsciously) benefitted off the voicelessness of black brothers and sisters, times where you were unaware of systemic prejudices, or even times where you were aware but chose to conveniently avert your gaze. It is not until an issue becomes personal that we devote our best efforts to eradicating it. This is when racism transcends from a distant issue affecting the “others” to a problem far closer to home. You don’t have to have experienced racism to be against it. All it takes is realising that whether you chose to or not, you are part of, and have likely benefitted from a system which is rife with racism. So I am challenging you. Yes you, dear reader, to really sit and think. Think deep, think hard. It’s not easy, it’s not comfortable. But it’s necessary. And only from these thoughts are you able to effectively take the next step.

This brings us on to my second point. Personal Actions. If you, for any number of reasons, find it hard to perceive the issue of racism on a personal level, this is where you reach out. Reach out to black people in your life, reach out to other non-people of colour, ask them how they’re feeling. Ask how they’ve been feeling. Because although racism is currently receiving a whole lot of international attention, hear me when I say that this is no new notion. Being black is not and has never been a choice. And sadly, being at increased risk for the colour of your skin is a choice, just not one a black person is able to make for themselves. Change is not an abstract concept, and it does not exist outside of people. On a personal level, these changes can take many forms. From signing petitions, to donating to organisations, to protesting if you wish. The one that I have seen a lot of is apology. Both private and public. From non-POC to members of the black community. Now, I am not (and really need to drive this point home, NOT) condemning anyone who has apologised, either for standing on the side lines, being blissfully ignorant or participating in any racist activity. Well done for coming to the realisation that everyone has a role in the race crisis. What I am against is an apology that is not backed by further revelation, and by personal change. Because words which are not backed by action are below futile, they are phony. But useful actions- those are powerful. What I mean by this is, don’t let this be a week-long issue which fizzles out as soon as the next thing rolls around. For every person who has publicly stated that they support the Black Lives Matter movement, or that they apologise for being silent and now vows to speak up, don’t just make that a blanket statement. Make sure you continue to speak up when social media goes silent. But what does this look like? This looks like going out of your way to ensure that the POCs among you get their voices heard. It looks like having the courage to speak up to those who have authority which surpasses your own. It looks like hearing those who are oppressed with compassion and with conviction that mandates you to do better.

And finally, Public Words. These are important. For sure. But if used prematurely, they can do more harm than good, can yield confusion rather than clarity, and can see people entering into false promises which, when unfilled, only exist to further perpetuate the silent suffering that racism has been privy to since its inception. And so my advice would be only publicly announce what is supported by your own private thoughts, corroborated by your own personal actions, and consistent with the future you wish to build and be a part of. Pressing re-post is easy, but re-setting the system is hard. In the words of social justice activist Bryan Stevenson, “if you want to do justly, you must be proximate, change the narrative, stay hopeful, and do things that are inconvenient and uncomfortable”. This is an issue that can only be changed from the inside out. And you control your inside. So I would urge you to use it wisely. Seek advice from others, form your own opinions, understand what you can change, and speak up for what you can’t. I personally believe that compassion and relationship building is the number one way in which we can combat this, but those are thoughts for another time.

In honour of this Black Out Tuesday, use this pause period to look inside and clarify your private thoughts, to look to people around you and fortify your personal actions, and to look as far as you can to create change with your public words. That’s all from me, if you’ve made it this far, I want to personally thank you. Thank you for choosing to engage, thank you for giving my words the time of day, and a pre-emptive thank you for the change you are going to bring into the world.